Elderly Relative -Helping the Move to a Retirement Community

[admin]

This is the thread to discuss your experiences, tips, and war stories with the extremely complicated subject of how to persuade an elderly parent, relative, or friend that it might be time to move to some type of new community. Whether that might be a retirement home, independent living facility, assisted living, CCRC (Continuing Care Retirement Community) nursing home, or the home of a son or daughter - the process is difficult.

See the article on this subject in our Tips and Picks section:
http://www.topretirements.com/tips/Eldercare/How_to_Persuade_Your_Elderly_Relative_It_Might_Be_Time_to_Move.html

[youngatheart]

I hear so many people talking about this issue and it sometimes it's hard for me to take the "me" out of the conversation. In other words, some of us "children" (in our 50's and 60's) think we should decide where the parents want to live, because we know best (not Father!). But the bottom line is unless the parent is certifiably senile or a proven menace, it's their life. Awfully hard to accept when you hear the horror stories, but they have a right to live where they want to be.

[jfb48]

I agree, it's not your decision. But what i find harder is deciding what i would do - in my own situation. When would i be willing to move out of my beautiful home into an apartment with a lot of old people? Probably a long time from now! At least the wife and I can work on a plan for what circumstances would force us to kick our movement plan into gear. For example, a major health change, a certain age, distance and capabilities of our children? Realistically, i don't really expect that my children will have the time or inclination to help on a basis sufficiently frequent to keep me living indepently.

[boomer1]

My advice is don't be too eager to move your elder, particularly if it is far away from where they live now. We just had some experience with this and there were some unpleasant lessons learned. 1, the elder was very disoriented by all the change - takes a lot of time to get back to normal. 2, th e family caregivers underestimated the stress and time they would be under/have to give to make this work.

Moving an elder is a VERY big deal! Good luck
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