I married you for life, not for lunch

admin · Site Admin Joined: 20 Sep 2006 Posts: 58

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readytoplay · Joined: 13 Nov 2006 Posts: 24

From our experience this whole issue takes some adjustments. One that i had to learn the hard way is that as the newly retired person I needed to realize that my dear wife had already been working from home for years. Therefore I was the intruder. But after a few weeks we worked out a routine. I try not to get irritated when the phone ringsg - because it is often for me. And as an added benefit, some times she does make my lunch!

ctyankee · Joined: 27 Nov 2006 Posts: 23

When this happened to us we had a rough period for a while. i went around turning off lights and commenting about all of the yoga, pilates, and massages that ate up the time that the dear wife said she didnt have. Then i woke up and said to myself, this might be a good idea. Gives me some peace and her some space from a grumpy old ct yankee!

Now we get along fine, enjoy more time together than we had before.

Boomer1 · Joined: 24 Nov 2006 Posts: 52 Location: Madison CT

My advice to the newly retired when the partner already lives/works at home all day - get an outside office! It won't cost you much. You'll get some space. You'll get discipline by going there everyday. And when you have to pay the rent it will give you motivation to make enough to cover it!

readytoplay · Joined: 13 Nov 2006 Posts: 24

I can't help but wonder how many people delay retirement because the thought of being home all day with their spouse scares the daylights out of them.

admin · Site Admin Joined: 20 Sep 2006 Posts: 58

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luvneverends · Joined: 25 Oct 2007 Posts: 1

Aha, finally free. We have enough time to enjoy life. How about a nice oversea travel?

Sometimes, I hope I become a lion, but I'm just a cat!

http://www.seniorwoo.com/blog?thatsme

2putz · Joined: 20 Dec 2007 Posts: 28

Having 2 people home all day does take some adjusting. I suggest having a discussion about expectations. If you hate being interrupted, set "office hours" or an invisible wall. If you are, like in my case, wake up and realize that there is a lot of "work" being done at home that you never took part in. So pitch in and help unload the groceries or do the shopping. In exchange, set some boundaries. It's working for us, but it did take some to-ing and fro-ing.

Pammy · Joined: 30 Jul 2008 Posts: 5

It was tough at first. I like to write and hubby likes golf.
We both love to travel, as well as loving music and shows...so we make the time to do these things together.

It's been eight years now and we still manage to get along...LOL

The thing is to respect one another's space and daytime activity planning.
Keep it loose and lively...just the way it was when you first got married!

Richard · Joined: 19 Aug 2008 Posts: 5

It's always a big change if one person in the household retires but after being married for so many years it should be possible to work out a way to enjoy the new situation.

marty50 · Joined: 13 Dec 2006 Posts: 25

Funny to see this post. Just today I heard 2 different people say that line: "i married you for life, not for lunch.". Obviously it strikes a nerve. My opinion is that handling this all depends. I know some couples where the odds are pretty good that 2 people at home aren't going to work - one needs a hobby or a job! But I seen 2 retireds work out well at home - provided they have something interesting or meaningful to do.

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