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How close is too close



 
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Joined: 20 Sep 2006
Posts: 65

PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 1:14 pm    Post subject: How close is too close Reply with quote

My daughter is urging my husband and i to buy the house 2 doors down from them in Atlanta. We currently live in Minneapolis and were looking for a retirment place somewhere in Georgia or northern Florida. Although we would love to be near our 3 young grandchildren, we are not that anxious to be next door! Anyone have any suggestions?

Muddled in Minnesota
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youngatheart



Joined: 13 Nov 2006
Posts: 21

PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 8:01 pm    Post subject: Muddled Reply with quote

Dear Muddled,

Congratulations to you for giving this issue some serious thought before you act!

My vote would be to follow your instincts, first and foremost. if you are happy with the arrangements, so will your children and grandchildren. Pick the distance away that feels right for you and the result will probably be better than choosing a solution that is imposed on you. Better to start off a bit too distant and move closer than to have an ugly situation develop.

Hope that helps, and good luck to you.
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Boomer1



Joined: 24 Nov 2006
Posts: 51
Location: Madison CT

PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 10:32 pm    Post subject: how close is too close Reply with quote

This sounds like really good advice to me. The only additional thing i could suggest is that you plan a really long visit - either staying in their house, a hotel, or renting - and then step back and evaluate how that went. If it left you thirsty, keep drinking. If not, plan accordingly.

Best of luck - you have your priorities straight!
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jfb48



Joined: 05 Dec 2006
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 10:45 pm    Post subject: how close is too close Reply with quote

I don't know if i completely agree with this advice. If the kids really want you near and they need the help, how can you refuse. At least I remember how nice it might have been if the 'rents had been nearby to help when the kids were small. Maybe i would have been a better parent!
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youngatheart



Joined: 13 Nov 2006
Posts: 21

PostPosted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 8:41 pm    Post subject: Dont move that close Reply with quote

Don't do it. Sounds like you have reservations now. That is your gut instinct talking to you. Listen!
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luvkeywest



Joined: 10 Oct 2007
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 1:21 am    Post subject: it all depends Reply with quote

Ultimately it's your decision. For me a factor would be how much do the kids need you. If the parents are both working, there is a serious health or developmental issue, or even if it comes down to money - you might want to tilt in favor of answering a call to help. If the invitation was merely being polite, or if you know you will all get on one another's nerves, you will know what to do.
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readytoplay



Joined: 13 Nov 2006
Posts: 24

PostPosted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 10:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There was a very interesting article recently about some new developments that include an active adult community within a mixed generation development. A family was profiled in USA Today which lived in one such development in DeLand, FL called Victoria Gardens http://www.topretirements.com/reviews/Florida/DeLand/Victoria_Park.html. This seems like an ideal solution to the problem you face - being close but not too close. You also get to live in an active adult community, if that is what you want.
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Srinibash7854



Joined: 01 Jan 1970
Posts: 9

PostPosted: Tue Mar 11, 2014 5:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

After retirement if you live in other place then you will feel alone and boring.But as you have 3 young grand children you can spend time happily with them.
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rjcool01



Joined: 01 Jan 1970
Posts: 2

PostPosted: Thu Mar 13, 2014 5:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why don’t you settle down where your children are? You will have a great time and they will simply love it.
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Andrew_50



Joined: 01 Jan 1970
Posts: 12

PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2014 3:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

rjcool01 wrote:
Why don’t you settle down where your children are? You will have a great time and they will simply love it.


I agree... You will simply build a strong connection with your grown up children and your grandchildren if you are close to them.
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Linda Spy



Joined: 01 Jan 1970
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2014 1:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Our children wanted us to move close to them also...And tho it is a nice compliment to us that they want us near we told them that we are moving to another state to enjoy the rest of our years together. We won't be that far away but far enough away so that we won't be getting the constant knock or call asking us to take care of the children ,,,We are getting too old to do that,,we love our grandchildren dearly but they truly wear us out after a few days. This way, we can come home and take a little 8 hour drive and spend some time with them and go back home. Or they can have a place to come and visit with all the amenities they won't want to leave. It's our time, we have raised our children and now it is time for them to raise their own. And who knows if someday they decide to up and leave and there we are..stuck someplace we didn't really want to be in the first place. JMHO
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Mariah



Joined: 01 Jan 1970
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Mon Oct 13, 2014 7:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Why don't you try and it doesn't work, you can sell the house and move.
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