August 2, 2020 — This Article is an excerpt from a new book, “I Have Been Assigned the Single Bird”, by Susan Cerulean. The memoir poignantly recalls her experience caring for her father (my father-in-law) as he suffered from dementia, and makes powerful connections to the natural world around us. We think this excerpt and the book will be of interest to many of our Members who have or will find themselves in a similar situation. Cerulean is a nature writer in Tallahassee, FL.
My father’s fate was some sort of internal lightening inside the brain, strokes that led to dementia, and a long decline. After his wife died, it fell to me and my husband Jeff to care for Dad during the last five years of his life. As many people do, we struggled to reconcile the minutiae of the bedside with our full time work and three sons to raise.
But taking care of my father was the right thing to do.
Within the first three months of Dad’s move to live close to us in Tallahassee, his life had returned to good order. We’d distilled the physical goods of all his previous homes into a small but pleasant space. I’d found a wonderful occupational therapist who had told me: “Your Dad is too high functioning for a lockdown memory unit. Bob is still very able to rise to expectations.” She confirmed my hope that assisted living could work out for him. We’d visited a dermatologist, an eldercare lawyer, an eye doctor, a podiatrist, the dentist. Two molars beyond repair had been excavated, and his teeth had been cleaned and polished.
Posted by Admin on August 2nd, 2020
January 24, 2017 — Earlier this month we wrote about “The Retirement Wrecker You Never Considered“, which turned out to be about adult children that fail to fledge. Today we will tackle the other half of the sandwich that often squeezes baby boomers; what happens when elderly parents and relatives need help that interferes with your retirement plans. We are certainly not saying that having elderly parents is a “problem”, it is a blessing if you get to enjoy your parents and relatives as they age. Unfortunately for some adult children, they experience challenges with their parents that can turn into a problem for their retirement plans. We know many of you have had experience dealing with this sometimes difficult issue, and hope you will contribute your knowledge and experience in the Comments section below.
To get started we have 11 tips to offer when it looks like your elders need more help but don’t seem to want to get it. After that we have re-posted some comments on this same topic from the past. Obviously there is a range of (more…)
Posted by Admin on January 24th, 2017
May 20, 2013 — On our sister site, BestAssistedLiving.com, we just posted a pair of interesting articles. The first explores an option to assisted living when budget is a problem. Some facilities in Mexico offer first rate care at a fraction of the cost in the U.S. The second is a link to a very helpful article from Silver Planet on how to avoid getting scammed. Unfortunately, there is a growing amount of financial fraud committed against seniors in this country – you need to know how to prepare.
Comments? Have you or your loved one considered assisted living in another country? Or were you ever the victim of a financial scam? Please let us know in the Comments section below.
Posted by Admin on May 20th, 2013
By Maria Tadd
July 25, 2011 — According to the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP), about 90% of retirees and 80% of baby boomers say they want to remain in their neighborhoods indefinitely. It is generally agreed that this is a good thing too – gerontologists have found out that aging in place vastly improves the quality of life for seniors and is a lot cheaper for society than residential facilities.
The reasons for this are not all that surprising. It is not just our house and belongings that provide comfort but it is also the cultivation of long-lasting friendships; caring neighbors who (more…)
Posted by John Brady on July 25th, 2011
Here’s a club so exclusive that even Brooke Astor couldn’t help you get in. It’s the Super Memory Club, restricted by luck and good habits to about 1 in 200 people. And did we mention you have to be 90 years old to be eligible?
Our sister site, BestAssistedLiving.com, has just posted a short article on the Super Memory Club. Some of its members live in the huge Orange County retirement community of Laguna Woods. There they are part of the 90+ Study, a joint project of USC and UC Irvine. The researchers are learning some things about the factors that help some lucky few reach their 90’s without brain deterioration such as dementia. In the case of many of the participants, significant social interaction and the game of bridge are key to their good brain health, along with a healthy dose of the right genes.
For more information:
Posted by Admin on May 22nd, 2009
June 24, 2008 — Baby boomers fortunate enough to still have living parents gained a new resource today, BestAssistedLiving.com. This new online resource can help adult children find the best assisted living, eldercare, independent living, CCRC, and nursing home facilities for their loved ones. The website is a sister site to Topretirements.com, serves a similar audience, and has a site structure that will be very familiar to visitors of that popular online retirement community resource.
As a welcome to the site visitors can download a useful free eBook, “The Practical Guide to Selecting Eldercare Facilities“. This new assisted living resource features a variety of helps for children of elders, as well as seniors who are looking for the best assisted living and retirement home resources. (more…)
Posted by Admin on June 24th, 2008
November 16 update (original post -September 27, 2007) — Today the Times reported that congressional hearings are looking into charges that nursing homes. It reported that “Members of the House Ways and Means Health Subcommittee and the Senate Special Committee on Aging proposed measures to require nursing homes to disclose ownership and to require regulators to release information about poorly managed homes.” (more…)
Posted by Boomer1 on September 27th, 2007
August 25 – More than 9 out of 10 people over 65 would prefer to stay in their own homes as they grow older, according to a survey by the AARP. The desire to live where they feel comfortable amidst familiar surroundings is powerful and understandable. Unfortunately, as medical needs increase and life skills like driving decline, it often becomes more and more difficult to continue living independently. Aging adults face more than their own frailties as well, because their adult children often pressure them to move to a retirement community or Continuing Care Retirement Center (CCRC).
More and more people, according to a recent New York Times article, are starting to (more…)
Posted by Boomer1 on August 24th, 2007
Topretirements is gearing up to publish an expanded article for our “Tips and Picks” section on how to persuade aging parents that it is time to move to some type of retirement home. We are very interested in hearing “war stories” from our readers’ experiences in trying to persuade their relatives to move from their private homes to a facility where they can get the care they need (independent living, assisted living, retirement home, continuing care retirement community, or nursing home). Please send your comments to email@example.com; we will try to share as many as we can. (more…)
Posted by Admin on May 3rd, 2007