Should We Leave Minnesota for a Small Town in Nowheresville?

June 10, 2025 —Note: This article was contributed by our friend and frequent contributor, Ed LaFreniere. It is from his column, The Retirement Sage, that he wrote as part of a humor hobby before and during covid. He and his wife spent years researching retirement spots around the country, and one of their conclusions was that choosing a community is one thing — but the surrounding has to work for your lifestyle as well. A number of great suggestions are included in this column.

Dear Retirement Sage:
My Dear Bride of 40 years has been scouring the Internet for
our retirement mecca and has decided that she wants to move to
a small town in Louisiana. It’s on a little lake and that is
known for having two attractive parks, a dozen nice restaurants,
and very low taxes. It was on one of the countless best-places-to-
retire lists, this one created by some website that I’ve never
heard of that probably picked the only ten places it had photos
of.

We are both water rats, having grown up on lakes in the
Midwest, but our lakes are not part of a state that has 2 million
alligators! Nevertheless, she’s convinced that this is our new
Shangri-la. I, however, am far from persuaded, and am
concerned that this could turn into a fiasco – way too abrupt a
departure after decades in the same area of Minnesota. My
thought would be to keep the moving van outside our new place
for a week in case we have to turn right around and come back
to our familiar surroundings. Better yet, I have encouraged her
to rent down there for a year or for a few months and see if we
like the area, but she thinks that would be a waste of money. She
tells me to trust her intuition. Would you?

Advice from the Retirement Sage:

The Sage suspects that you are not the only person to have
cold feet in Minnesnowta, and he can certainly see why your
wife yearns for warmer weather. However, he will not get in the middle of this disagreement.

Clearly he is going to play this one right
down the middle. So …
Any such move – including ones from one retirement spot to
another – can be stressful, let alone one to a place that neither of
you has even visited. So let’s start with three very basic
questions:

• How flexible is your financial situation? Will you be able to
  reverse course if you have all your money tied up in a house during a down market. Or, if the stock market tanks and you need the cash.
• Are you both healthy enough for such a move? The Sage
  always recommends conservative medical vigilance – get
  thorough physicals and make sure that your blood pressure,
  other vitals and overall health will likely enable you to endure
  the rigors and emotional challenges of uprooting yourselves into
  a whole new life. Bring your records with you.
• Finally, and this, too, is absolutely critical. If you have no or
  very little social support in your new area, you would do well to
  build quite a bit of it before you move.

What Will You Miss?

Think of all the conveniences, comforts and psychological backing that you have
now. All your friends? Family? Your own doctors, dentists,
accountants, clerics, hairdressers and grocers? Most important,
your coffee shop (will you have to put 10 Equals into a small
cup of java to make it palatable in your new town)? Oh, and not
unimportant for many, will you be able to find a trusted wine expert at your local store, or – most essential to the Sage — your brand of peanut butter at the supermarket?

Think, think, think about your social life. Will you really be
able to leave all these loved ones? Be realistic! How will you feel if your closest pals in the new
community turn out to be your upstairs condo neighbors — a
manic couple who dance the Hakke Toone on thin oak floors in
their Dutch wooden clogs every morning between 1 and 4 a.m.
Or, entertain you by day with nonstop political musings proving
that they’ve remained faithful to the principles forged during the
Inquisition?

What Will You Be Doing?
Now … be honest. Is there enough to do in the new area? Do
attractions and events fit your lifestyle? If you’re a sports
enthusiast, will you have access to pro or college athletics? Will
you be able to swim (or kayak) without alligators? Hike or play
tennis? Two parks does not a retirement place make. Will you have to drive 500 miles every weekend
for social stimulation?

Due Diligence
If you are going to move anywhere, The Sage strongly
suggests that you invest in some due diligence. Visit your new place multiple times,
including trips at the worst time of year for heat (or cold, if you
are so inclined!). Talk to people in stores, restaurants, places of
worship, coffee shops and elsewhere, to start. Can you see
yourself mingling seamlessly with this crowd? Ditto if you have
your heart set on a neighborhood or a 55-plus active retirement
community. You want to feel right at home.

Meet and Greet

It is also a good idea to meet with people who participate in
the same activities that interest you AND those that interest your
significant other. That could be a golf club, mah-jong, bridge,
bingo, a boating club or a church group. Greet people who are
already there and talk to them in person. Get their names and
stay in touch with them as you continue your research. If they
remain in contact and make you feel welcome, that’s a good
start. And be certain that friendliness is genuine – don’t deceive
yourself or rationalize a bad choice.

The Medical Card
Another stressful aspect of a move is the medical one. Is there
a good local hospital? Are the specialists you rely on available for any medical conditions you might have. Can you choose from a pool of qualified doctors and
dentists? Get recommendations from residents and contact these
medical professionals to make sure they are seeing new patients
and that they will accept your insurance. All of these will
relieve some of the anxiety of the move.

The Political Environment
You should feel a strong sense of home culturally,
emotionally, psychologically and, even, politically. If the
political makeup is 5,000 of them and 1 of you, well, you could feel lonely.
Visit your place of worship as well. Does it feel right? You will be able to tell quickly – try a
church social and make sure that the vibe matches what you are looking for.

Know now and avoid pain later
If you feel out of place, well, better to know now and avoid an
unnecessary debacle, not to mention financial Armageddon. At the very least, you could end up stuck in a place you hate with
no option but to stay and try to make the best of it somehow.

The Sage wishes you well.
Humbly Yours,
The Sage

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Thanks for sharing Ed. Lot of good advice here!

Comments: Do you have any advice for those about to move to another location based on your own experience? If so, please share in the Comments section below.