12 Lies We Tell Ourselves about Retirement

This is the best advice I've seen on retirement. Certainly, it's the mos realistic. Retirement is not as easy as we were told.

I agree with you, especially the point about thinking we will stay in the same house until we die. It might be a nice thought, but it's not realistic if it isn't convenient and cannot meet all of your needs.

We have done pretty well in avoiding the lies! We planned for our retirement for many years, investing and saving to have a good nest egg. We researched a lot prior to selecting our retirement community. Our hope is to stay in our home until we die but we know that may not be the case. We keep busy with lots of activities in our community, my husband volunteer coaches at a local high school and we both work at staying healthy and physically fit. We just returned from a 2 week river cruise in Europe and are working on planning our next trip. We meet with our financial adviser regularly to make sure we our on track with our spending. All in all, I would say we have done a pretty good job!

Just unexpectedly learned all about the first point - "plan to retire at age ___". Our plan, developed with our financial advisor, including spreadsheets of planned withdrawals was based on my 64 yr old husband working to 66. He had worked for the same family- owned company for 33 years. To everyone's surprise, the company was sold to a national company and my husband amongst others was "retired" with a small severance package. Others were just flat laid off!!! Two years short of hitting our retirement "number" in the 401k, two years short of SS FRA and two years short of debt-free nirvana! Lesson learned: plan to hit the goals 5 years before your anticipated retirement date: just in case the unexpected happens!!!

I don't yet have the answer to having enough to last until the end, but as yet, I don't know when the end will be! As for the rest of the "lies", I seem to be doing great. I won't retire until I am 70, I have part-time work (almost more than I want!). I am so busy that I wonder how I had time to work! I keep in touch with people from my past and make new friends, just as I did when younger. My health is fine, but I pay attention and work at it. I live in a home that could work for many years to come, so I don't have to move. I travel at least twice a year on a lengthy trip and locally on shorter ones whenever I wish. I find that travel schedule to be sufficient now though I may have wished for more in the past. I know that as I get older, I won't want to travel as much, so I am doing as much as I can now.

The key to being happy, no matter what stage of life, is to be in the moment and deal with the reality of "now". That includes being aware that you will be around for awhile and you may want to plan financially for the future. I was just thinking that I might want to think about other ways to generate an income, at least at some level, after I quit working. That will keep me busy investigating different ideas. If I can find the time! I also try to continue to look for ways to simplify how I live and let go of ways that don't help me financially and are not appropriate for my situation now. Example: cable TV- I hate paying for that, so I am going to explore internet streaming. Example: stocking my pantry as though I were still responsible for feeding a growing family. (Old habits die hard!)

When you were 30, did you have a perfect plan for the years until you were 60? Of course not! So why do we think we can know exactly how it will go from 60 to 90? Be flexible.

The two things that I would tell anyone approaching retirement are the following:
1. Try to have your house paid off before you retire. (It is usually the biggest bill you have.)
2. Give yourself a couple of years to adjust to the new reality of not working 40,50 or 60 hours a week. I found myself spinning my wheels at first. Racing to nowhere. Create a new structure in your life. Set up a schedule for yourself at home. You won't go off in six directions at once, or worse just sit staring at the walls. Schedule in time everyweek for the things you used to wish you had time to do. After a while, it starts to feel normal and you come out of your funk and happily go forward. It's just another opportunity to prove your excellence!

Reading the "fibs" and the responses above, I am reminded again of a few things.

First, I may have a plan and goals for retirement, but some things are out of my control, making a selection of contingency options necessary. Plans can change as needed, but not having a plan puts is risky.

Second, since I came to retirement planning and prepping at a late age (50), my options are more limited than someone who has been on the track for decades longer. I've always lived a counterculture lifestyle, and I learned how to successfully survive in ways that I may not have realized if I hadn't. Many of these ways will serve me after retirement. I will have a unique and unusual retirement, consistent with how I've lived my life.

Third, being healthy is probably the best predictor of how successful my retirement life will be, since good health keeps me from running up medical bills, contributes to obtaining and keeping part-time work, helps me to work longer, allows me to travel and do what I want to do, and promotes my being able to make choices that are not based on dealing with poor health, for as long as possible.

Fourth, living a sustainable lifestyle now will benefit my retirement: living without debt; integrating exercise into my daily activities; eating healthy food and avoiding unhealthy habits; strengthening family ties and friendships; discovering how to do what I want for free or with little money; refining possessions and responsibilities to what I can manage in the future. I'm not perfect, but I'm aiming for my best.

Fifth, My bucket list is based on a "small is beautiful" concept, which includes gardening, writing, creating art, reading and libraries, tuition free college courses for seniors, my 1986 Tercel wagon, sharing my home with a compatible roommate, keeping fit, being involved in community, selected travel, and other similar activities.

Finally, retirement won't be about getting what I've always wanted, but about continuing the life I have. I've always believed that living life is a journey that leads to the ultimate destination, so it's the living that is important. The biggest luxury of all will be free time.

I have to laugh now at one of the 'lies' I told myself years ago as we were moving around the country with my husband's career. I was telling myself -when we retired we can choose anyplace to live that we want without worrying about schools and employment and how fun that would be to actually choose!!

Now that we are retired, we find that we can't really choose 'anywhere' we'd like if we want to be relatively close to our sons (and their families - grandchildren!). Oh I suppose you could say to heck with family, but realistically for us it wouldn't be wise as they are too important to us to only visit once or twice a year. So we are living now where my husband's last employment was as our sons have lives now in this area as well.

update 17 june 2015. so far so good on our new retired life. staying busy staying healthy with the PICKLEBALL crowd. wife is doing ZUMBA 2-3 times, tai chi 2-3 times, bible study, book club, etc, etc. walking the cities GREENWAY TRAILS is a pleasure for me. becoming a NEWS JUNKIE with my morning coffee. going to start the 4% mandatory dance in AUGUST 2015. our money guy thinks OUR plan is sound and do-able. time will tell. while enjoying life, we are doing more research, on our eventual end days. our trips in this FANTASTIC country include stops to visit facilities for INDEPENDENT, ASSISTED & CONTINUING CARE. the range of options and cost are perplex and challenging. just another adventure to fill in the blanks. we are currently in our PLAN A. PLANS B & C are in the computer room.

Our friends considered us the lucky ones. We planned out our retirement well, purchased a beautiful lot in a gated community in Arizona to build on, sold our large home and moved into a rental so we could build on our 20 year dream lot. Well, the house came in 80% over budget. During the design process we also discovered we felt too far away from family and friends, and learned to love the freedom of being renters. It's only a four hour flight, but in reality it took about twice that including the logistics. Also, spur of the moment airfares are very expensive. We enjoyed the experience of living in the desert,which we still love, but have packed and moved home to a smaller place. We have discovered the joys of being renters in various locations for the winter months, and combine that with lots of travel. Who knows where life will take you. Learn to be flexible, open minded and enjoy the moment!

I've arranged care for my mother the past 9 years, and am very aware that we will probably need help if we live long enough, even if we're financially independent. We've moved her from an apartment, to assisted living, to board and care. No guarantee our children will step up to help, but hate to get too far away from them.

After retiring a little over a year ago, I'm now in the process of selling my home, moving to my new home in another state and along with my sister, selling my deceased parents' home. All of these major events have included cleaning, painting, packing and getting rid of no longer needed items. These tasks, while difficult to manage as a young person, are absolutely exhausting at this age. I think that it is important to realize that we may not have the stamina to do things that were no problem when we were younger. All could have been made easier if I could have paid for help, but I feel it necessary to be careful with my expenses. I guess the lie about retirement that I've told myself is that I'll have all the energy to do the things that I've always done.

The biggest lie, to me, is calling these the Golden Years. My golden years were when I was young, healthy and fit enough to do whatever I wanted. Now I can't do 90% of the things I want to do, and used to do. Like Georgia, just the idea of emptying my house and otherwise getting it ready to sell is exhausting! This being said I still feel lucky in that I was not one of those people who waited until retirement to do the things I've wanted. I've heard many people complain about how they were going to do this or that in retirement only to find out they no longer could. I had a life of adventures. Of course, maybe that is one reason it has hit me so hard that I can no longer do them. Perhaps people who pretty much do nothing when young can be OK with doing nothing when old! LOL

I love reading everybody's comments. I'm about 4 years away from retiring from decades of self-employment. My financial advisors and all the retirement calculators online tell me I'm set with my savings. But I'm still doing exploring online and in person of retirement communities in different states. Even though my home is paid off, my property taxes are so high that I feel I will need to move away from the area when I retire. I am okay with downsizing my life, in fact looking forward to it. But my biggest worry is starting my life over somewhere that I do not know a soul. Feeling like the retirement communities for active adults are the way to go for that. My plan is to continue to live beneath my means so that I, hopefully, will always have enough for all my needs.

Bonnie, Do you like where you're presently living? Is downsizing possible where you're currently living? Perhaps you can you lower your taxes by moving to a smaller house. A network of friends and family can't necessarily be replaced in a few years, and sometimes, ever. If i liked where i currently live, i'd stay put; but i don't. Please think through your options, and understand, i'm not discouraging a move. That's not my place. My best to you.

I didn't lie to myself. I worked and lived in the "middle class life". Now I live a "middle class retirement" with a paid-off home and no stressful job. I love it. Could I have done things differently? Sure, but it's too late now and I'm not going to regret the past.

I started planning five years before my retirement at 67. I had good long term savings. We visited a number of States and Retirement Communities. We picked the State and approximate location. We sold our home a year ago and rented so our plan could be implemented. Nothing ever stays the same. The savings grew but so did the price of real estate we wanted to purchase. The area we wanted changed too. The population grew to the point we didn't like it anymore. We wanted quiet but near a larger city. It was hard to adjust everything we wouldn't in a retirement area. Now we are looking at building a downsized home where we currently live and leave the sunbelt and coasts to others with lower expectations. We have been doing International traveling and love to come back to familiar but cold surroundings to recharge.

Kurt 6.20.15