Retirement: So Radically Different from Other Life Experiences

This is an extraordinary article.

All of these new experiences involve us making choices that we did not have before, i.e., many choices are make for us by our schools or employers, and now we have freedom of choice.

I will add another huge choice in retirement, where do we want to live?

I find the retirement choices overwhelmingly like the book, Future Shock.

Everette ..... you have no idea of the choices to come! Insurance, housing type, housing where, near family, 4 seasons, heat, winter, transportation, how-to-spend days. I fight it every day. There are no right answers - just better answers. Best of luck to you.

Still trying to get the hang of retirement after 3.5 years. I have had periods of part-time work, do a good bit of volunteering and have joined a gym. Took a few college "for fun" courses. Participate in neighborhood activities like yoga and social events.

We live in a 55+ community in a beach town and enjoy it when it's not tourist season. I am fortunate to have a pension; while we're not affluent, we don't want for anything.

Given all that, can I say (without sounding too ungrateful for the good life we have) that I never realized just how tied up my identity was/is with my life's work. My husband worked for himself and seemingly has adjusted well. Me, I'm still restless but pretty sure I don't want to go back to work full-time. I'm hoping it's just a matter of time before I settle into my new normal.

In the meantime, I advise anyone approaching retirement (especially those workaholics out there, and you know who you are) to do a lot of soul searching before taking the plunge. It is a HUGE change!

Laura, Everything you wrote, I lived. I'm still self employed part time simply because I need to for me, I control my schedule and it is not stressful work. I also volunteer where my expertise fits. No children and yes, my identity all tied up into my career. My husband adjusted really easy, but he did not have those workaholic tendencies! We moved to a 55+ community, left Wisconsin arrived in Arizona. Once settled in, I definitely needed to takes steps to create and enjoy a new lifestyle or I could see depression in my future. Got involved with new things: golf, fitness, book club, lifelong learning, tried some crafts, more cooking, more social events, etc. Created enough "girlfriend" activities because even being married 20+ years, I wasn't adjusting to the 24/7 togetherness deal! Then, able to assist both parents thru end of life. The new community with lots of us in the same boat really helped. I took about 5 years off before I started part time work. I'm now 20 years into it (I quit the high stress career at 44) and it all feels comfortable. Now a calendar that is again pretty full, but with fulfilling things...except for the increasing number of doctor visits! It's a journey, sage advice you've given!

Hi Laura:

I work three days per week Mon-Tues-Wed as I need more money before I fully retire, but now I like just working three days a week, I may even decrease to two days once I reach my full retirement age next year. I do not see how people go from 100 to 0 by retiring. A lot of people I know enjoy going into an office or somewhere and knowing they have a place to be. I also volunteer on Fridays from 10AM to 1PM, 2nd and 4th Sundays give tours in a historic property and usher at an 8AM church service every week. I love the diversity and I still have time to do the things I really want or need to do. I think the ability to control ones time is a big issue.

I have been retired for 5 years and can honestly say I have never been board, had nothing to do or felt lonely. I don.'t work part time and I don't belong to any clubs. I stay up late if I want and sleep till 10:00 AM if I want. I don't rush for anything. I love thrift stores so I visit often and, find things that don't work and fix them. I read, love TV and go to the movies once a week. My husband and I go out to eat twice a week and have some friends we share our time with. We usually go one a cruise once a year. I spend a lot of time enjoying our beautiful yard as well as maintaining it. I loved my work but I don't miss it at all. Retiring was the easiest thing I ever did. We don't have a lot of money and didn't do big investments. There was no big "Master" plan. We get by just fine. I thank God every day for allowing us to enjoy the best part of our lives

Nancy K Christian you've pretty much said the way I feel. I've been retired a little longer, did lose my husband last year, & recently had to put our beloved 15 yr. dog down, but life goes on & how you enjoy it depends on you. I have days I'm bored & lonely but they don't last long. I have close friends I do things with, & I read a lot. I take care of a large house, have several flower gardens, so with those I always have something to do. I also do love thrift stores & hunting for that one item(s) I like though don't really need - but hell only live once enjoy it! I still travel & am not afraid to do it alone. Like you I don't have a lot of money or heavy investments, didn't have any big "Master" retirement plan but I am comfortable with a good State retirement & couple investments, we always saved some so am able to do pretty much what I want & so far am keeping healthy & active. Like you I can say I have not missed work & I was pretty much a workaholic I gave it 110% but never been sorry I left. I am thankful for every day & love life hoping to enjoy a lot more of it and everything it has to offer. The best to you..

Nancy, your lifestyle sounds lovely and should give hope to those who have not made hundreds of thousands of dollars in their investment portfolios. You are enjoying your retirement and taking the time to do so. You seem to be happy and this is what anyone would wish for.

Nancy, so glad your retirement is working out well. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

DH and I mostly closed our small business 3.5 years ago. It was a couple of years ahead of the original plan, but business circumstances, the opportunity to do so fairly seamlessly, and our own exhaustion moved the timing forward. The wind down process took a couple of years. First we stopped going in on Wednesdays, then Fridays, and finally Mondays got sliced off the list, too.

We are blessed to continue part-time for a few of the customers we liked best. Working occasionally from home or on the road keeps us engaged in the field we loved but without the daily grind. The money it brings in underwrites our travel expenses.

Several sets of friends retired a few years ahead of us, and the grass was sure looking green on their side of the fence. After researching how much we'd need to stay afloat, we devised SS and savings drawdown strategies. Yes, we have to be prudent, but there's enough to get us through reasonably well. Not piles of money by any means, but enough.

Between our kids and grands, some travel, the glories of the internet and library books, upkeep chores on the house, garden, vehicles and RV, we keep ourselves happily occupied. Are we bored sometimes? Of course. But boredom is hardly unique to this stage of life.

p.s. Thanks for the NY Times links to that interesting, relevant series.