The Best Tips for a Happy Retirement – From Our Members!

JCarol summed it up perfectly in her last two sentences "Joy is rarely based on circumstances. We bring it along to whatever situations we face." Continuing on that theme, people who were happy in the past will most likely continue to be happy and those were weren't will really need to work on it. So what can make you happy? First step is SMILE! (even if it's forced). It seems that the mere act of putting a smile on makes people feel happy (read all about it here https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/smiling-happy1.htm ) another area that strongly suggests a link to happiness (or anxiety, depression, ect.) is the microbiome, those trillions of microorganisms that live in the gut. What you eat is on factor that determines what species thrive in the gut, so make sure to eat lots of plants and avoid processed foods as much as possible ( read about it here https://www.well.org/nutrition/your-gut-microbiome-a-source-of-happiness-or-anxiety/ ) in addition getting outdoors every day, even if only for a short walk and getting the right amount of sleep are also associated with happiness. We can't always control what happens even with good planning but we can control how we react to what happens.

Jean, you are very right. As for the smile -- so easy and many just don't recognize it's power. I learned 52 years ago as a shy sophomore when my big smile at a friend's joke came just as I happened to meet eyes as we passed the newly chosen Homecoming Queen. Her face just lit up in response. Since then, even when unhappy, I try to help someone else's day with a smile. BTW, I never actually met the girl who gave me that great experience.

I will add one positive step toward greater happiness anyone can make. Get a pet you can interact with and learn to properly care for it. Despite many tragedies with my dogs over the years, they all have given back so much in companionship and joy.

After being suddenly widowed at 56 I sold the house and moved to myrtle beach with my daughter. 3 years later I retired gave the kids what they would take, sold the rest and took off in a new motor home. Was I scared. Yes I had never driven one but loved the freedom of being someplace new almost daily. After traveling all over the U.S., Canada and Mexico I finally remarried and bought a home in California. I did time on the board of our HOA, we enjoyed golf, cards and many trips to foreign lands. 15 years later I was widowed again so moved back to Ohio near family. I am in the sunset of my life but still enjoy traveling and spending the cold months in a warm climate. I have absolutely no regrets retiring early and wish everyone could. Like Mike said those few extra dollars for working longer don't mean a thing if you don't live to spend them. You never have to be bored as there's a whole big world to see and get involved in. And don't let the wonderful grandchildren hold you back. They have a life of their own.

I’m in a conundrum. We moved to a local condo (New York) to be rid of the maintenance, however there is no community center or planned activities/equipment. This is not a retirement area. Most people, including us, have family in the area. We just want maintenance free living so it works for that. I work part time just to keep sane. My husband basically watches tv and we go out to dinner with friends occasionally. I would like more activities and to escape at least during the winter months. My husband is not that social and we both agree that full time living down south is not for us. I believe we could swing two places or even rent for three months or so somewhere warm. We do have a pet who despises any kind of change, so to travel back and forth for the winter would be difficult. I never thought that this was going to be my retirement. How can I convince him that we can afford to go away for the winter and that we aren’t getting any younger?

Cathy, Have you thought about taking a trip without him? If you have grands who would like Disney World perhaps get a little family trip planned in the winter and go with or without him. Or if you are in touch with some retired friends plan a week or two someplace warm with them, husband will be home to dogsit. Or, go on a trip solo. Road Scholar ( formerlt elder hostle) offers trips geared to many interests and if you want an organized trip and you probably wont be the only single traveller in the group. Maybe at somepoint he will decide to join you but if not, enjoy doing something you want to do sometimes!

Cathy, there are also companies that organize travel just for women. If you seach " womens travel" youll find links to a number of companies that offer such travel opportunies.

After being home for 2 years fighting cancer, I realized that I am not happy being “retired”. For me, and many like me, working gives me purpose and meaning, which translates to real happiness. Maybe it is a generational thing, or a reflection of my political and religious beliefs, but I have never been one to be content at leisure. I do not have grandchildren and I am divorced, so when I was offered a very good job at the age of 68, I jumped at the chance. I am now back to work full time and loving life again. I am not in the high pressure career that I once had, but in a very meaningful and challenging career. I have many friends who are miserable in their retirements, and to them I say, get busy again!

Editor's comment: Good for you Maimi, and well said. Glad to hear you say you are loving life again!

To Maimi: I too "retired" for 4 years. Although I did volunteer work and we did some traveling it just wasn't enough. I am an RN with over 45 years experience and to my delight someone hired me at the age of 73. I am only working 2 days a week. Once a nurse always a nurse!

To each his own....been retired for 6 years after working in a High stressed job and enjoying my retirement and don't plan on going back to work. I have too many interests that I didn't have time to pursue when I was working. I was counting the days until I could retire.....

We hear from people who say they are so happy in retirement, don't have time to rest because they are so busy. And there is another group that is bored with it. Where do you stand, and what are the things you do that you love, and what is it you miss?

I have been retired for 6 years and my wife just retired. We use what we call the S plan. Skill (go learn something) we just took a wine class Social (you may need to push yourself to do this) We belong to Wine Group and a Dinner Club. Sweat (stay in the best shape you can) Any weekday we don't golf we go to the gym. Share (give some of.your money or time) We were walking to the movies and stopped to talk to a man and his dog. I gave him the $10 in my pocket. I was going to buy 2 glasses of wine. We got water instead. This simple plan has worked well for us

I too, find three days a week is enough work for me. I volunteer on Fridays and Sundays at a local Historic property. I am also a former surgery nurse, but while my new work is medically related to my nursing career, I have always done administrative work as well and do so in my part-time job. My skills stay sharp and I have learned many more in a new specialty (for me), Oral Surgery & Dentistry. Luckily, my employer let me write my own ticket and I work three (Mon-Tues-Wed) consecutive eight hour days, depending on patient workload. I do work for the money since I will not receive a pension.

Wednesday night has become my new Friday night and I get teased by my friends about this. Between this and volunteering I still have plenty of time to pursue my own interests, and take care of my home.

I retired 3 years ago. I moved from the Midwest to Tucson area and have never looked back. I am now on my hoa board, three committees of a nonprofit organization, and most importantly, I have discovered a new passion, art. I make hand sculpted and carved ceramics and dichroic glass jewelry. I also wirewrap and make chain mail. My little hobby is called The Third Act, which is what it feels like to me. It is not profitable, but I love every minute of it. I also have more time with my dog and my friends, as well as for travel and reading. Could I use more money? Sure, but I prefer my lifestyle to money. Call me a very happy retiree.

Love these comments, thanks! How about anyone who is bored with retirement - I don't think that has to be a stigma or poor reflection, it might just be you. Love to hear from everybody on this.

I can't really speak for those who are bored or simply not satisfied with their retirement, though I have met a number who have expressed that. In my case it mostly seems that their jobs were the all-comsuming force in their lives and they did not find things other than a retirement job to fill the vacuum.

I do have a somewhat different perspective than most responding so far -- extended retirement time. My wife and I have now been retired for more than 16 years. We retired on the proverbial "shoestring" -- bad market results would have pushed us to our minimum bearable budget (determined before agreeing to retire) and the need to go back to work after six months or so (as we actually expected on retiring). But both of us found by that time that were were far too busy -- we met the "how did we ever find time to work" issue. Fortunately, the markets held for us (we did self-manage our investments to make that happen) and we were never forced back to work. To different levels at different times we have volunteered for charitable, community and political interests. My wife finds that training others to assist in her volunteer efforts is a continuing and renewing major activity. Part of my retirement plan from the start was to do all that I could to maintain and improve our home and property so we could avoid those costs. Fortunately I have the skills and love for physical work to successfully do that and have added to those skills. There are a number of skills (like plumbing) I don't have and in some cases physical limitations prevent me from doing things like laying tile any longer. Fortunately, the savings from woodworking, electrical improvements and just plain yard work have allowed hiring the people properly skilled and able to take care of those needs. The result is that I've committed the time to reap savings amounting to many thousands of dollars (plus the associated investment income form not using those funds). I have had more than enough activity to keep me interested and busy and we have significant home and property improvements that added to our escrow value. Still, it has surprised me how many folks in the past year have asked about the age of our 27-year-old home is -- most think is is only a few years old.

As time (age) progresses, all this will all definitely be reduced, but the benefits have accrued. Yes, the skills needed are great to have, but anyone can take local community college classes or do the on-line research to learn and practice new skills. As a very minor example, I literally just saved about $1000 just by spending a few hours updating my electrical knowledge to allow a new installation. There are many other things such as concrete work that can be learned from reading and ample practice. (Our large, stand-alone deck has more than 40 footers that have held for for over 25 years.) Woodworking, electrical and, yes, even plumbing can be learned by most with some dedicated time and effort. After, what better retirement activity?

I love the “S” plan and will be remembering that moving forward. So simple and really smart - another “S”. I retired in May of 2017 after 30 years in education. Started to draw my pension and just de-stress. After a year and a half I looked up a friend still working in education and asked if they needed help part time in administration. They do and I worked two or three days a week. Then my friend moved to another district and I was asked to fill her job. This meant full time, but they made me an offer I could not refuse. Full pensions and full salary. I have a kid in college and I shared that when she is done it is a hard stop for me. Pouring money into our investments while I do this. I loved my time away from the stress of work and it helped me re-center. I loved doing projects around the house and got a ton of projects done that I had put on hold when I was too busy. Now I have to hire someone to complete the things I didn’t get done, but I feel like I now have a really good idea what retirement is actually going to be like. I was never bored! My wife is still working and we know more clearly what things will be like when we actually do retire for good. We know that we are blessed to be able to control our situation and, while I am enjoying my new job, I know that the time for a great retirement is ahead and I get to control when it starts for good! Looking forward to every day being Saturday again!

I've been retired for a while and have never been bored; I even "schedule" total veg-out days when things get too busy (we introverts relish time by ourselves). I golf with a ladies league one day a week and with husband at least one other day, take pottery lessons at the local arts center one day a week and volunteer there occasionally. Living within an hour or two of my former home allows for frequent lunches with old friends, family and former colleagues. When I'm at home I listen to podcasts on my ipad -( there are so many free podcasts available to subscribe to it is amazing) while gardening or doing chores. I've taken care to address the things I miss about work. I worked for a large pharma company and loved learning about the latest in the science behind new medicines so now I read pharma and biotech blogs and subscribe to science news and medical news websites. As for the social aspect of work, I meet work friends for lunch and parties at least on day a month and also keep in touch on social media.
There are other things I'd like to try but for now need to leave them for less busy time :)

I like reading all the comments and I wonder if it makes a difference for single people? I think that for me, it surely does. I am sure that if I was still married, I would not have experienced the loneliness of retirement and would have a companion and much more money to travel and do fun things. Any other single people feel the same?

Well, we tried retiring, moved closer to grandkids. We enjoyed being involved with their activities, no question about that. It's the rest of the time...my husband is so good at putzing. He can stay busy with his projects. Me? not so much...my interests are gardening and cooking. That leaves a lot of hours left over in the day. We aren't hikers, don't do museums and sightseeing and are not volunteers. My worth, I guess you could say, was in my job. So I got the opportunity to get the old job back and back to the panhandle in Florida we went from the midwest. We don't want to end up here either. Our or maybe just "my" problem is, I don't know what to do or where to go. We like traveling but it's not the sightseeing...it's just the bumming around, shopping and trying a new restaurant. We are 70 and 71...I don't know where to look for the answers. Time's a ticking. I want to be happy. I just don't know how to get there.

Being single has enhanced my retirement. No spouse or kids to consider in where I moved, just my owns desires. Everything I decided was my choice alone and being single makes it so easy to get out and find new friends and activities. And my dog is happy to have a much smaller house where she can find me when she wants a treat.

Brenda, While you're back at your job and wondering what to do next once you retire again why not try some new things? Both cooking and gardening have a creative element to them so you might find enjoyment in some art class, painting, pottery, etc. Many adult schools or art centers offer classes at reasonable costs so there's little risk. I recently started pottery and love it! my fellow students are mostly retirees and about 1/3 are new to the area like me. My creations are basically a hot mess but I have a lot of fun making them (and I cant wait to see the faces on those to whom they are gifted ) :) The comments under many of the topics on this site also often include activities people fill their time with. Check them out and even if they aren't 100% what you might want some might be worth a try. Two things I've learned over the years that get me doing things are "don't over think"' and avoid ever saying "yes but"; both are thought-habits that aren't helpful.

There are the people that are happily retired and those that are bored. But there’s another group that gives me pause. That’s the (healthy) group that had plans to do all these hobbies and activities, and then they retired and spend their days sitting/sleeping on the sofa. Often that leaves the other spouse unhappy and frustrated. I saw this with my parents. I don’t want to sound negative, but I think this is a very real issue for some retired people.

Retirement is what you make of it. Like a bowl, you can fill it any way you want. Adopt healthier habits than you perhaps could while working full-time. Rest for a while , bit do not make it a major part of the day. I do a lot of chores in the mornings, when I am at home. On the afternoon three days per week, I do research on any topic I wish to expand my horizons. With the rest of the week, I am working part time or volunteering.

Brenda, I agree with Jean. Just go out and try a lot if stuff. You liked being involved with your grandkids’ activities, maybe some volunteer opportunities with the schools or scouts. Libraries around here always have something going on, whether a day trip, essential oils, paranormal, the sillier the better—makes for some great stories. I could fill a book with anecdotes from my stint in Meal-on-Wheels alone. Find a way to hang out with kindred souls and laugh. I hear the best stories (and advice) in our senior exercise classes. Let your husband happily putter around, find yourself some gal-pals with good attitudes and go have fun. You might not want to move after all.

Daryl and Jennifer -- Right On! In the end it's up to each individual to actively find what is right for them. Hopefully, they will consider the desires and needs of any partner(s), but each is responsible for themself. The opportunities are there. Very few will be found just sitting in front of a TV. (Among those few would be the home theater geek who has found peace and paradise. I understand that, but personally can take only so much of peace and paradise. :<))