Share Your Experience: Tips on Being a Fabulous Grandparent

As the paternal grandmother to my 5 granddaughters and a paper crafter, I decided with the birth of my first granddaughter, I would make her a physical scrapbook of her life(as most parents today do everything digitally with photography). I will continue to do this until I'm unable and at that time will turn it over to the girls. These will be memory books they can touch and feel. It gives me purpose in retirement as well as a connection to them. With twins born this past March, it's become a little more difficult to keep up, but I'm still feeling good about this contribution I can make. It's just one of the contributions we do for our granddaughters.

Being a grandparent -- a subject near and dear to us with 16 specimens ranging from 8-20. I don't go by any hard and fast rules other than: 1) give lots of love, in whichever format that you can, to both the kids and their parents; 2) show up -- in person, by phone, at events, through the mail, via electronics; 3) appreciate -- the good, the naughty, the ups and downs; 4) cheer the victories, pat 'em on the back when there are the inevitable lapses; 5) play the games they love from peek-a-boo at 6 months, to London Bridges when they are 18 months to Banana Grams when they are 15 (no contract bridge -- "too boring"; 6) encourage overnights with lots of forbidden food (in our house this would be Klondike Bars-- my husband is famous for having fed a Klondike Bars breakfast to 6 of the kids). Smile a lot. Laugh until you cry. Stay in physical contact whenever you can. Just love 'em.

Your comments on Discipline and limits really hit a nerve because that's been the hardest area for us. When the grandkids misbehave or talk back and don't get disciplined by their parents, that drives us up a wall. The kids don't often respond when spoken to nor do they pick up after themselves even though they are capable. It's caused a major rift in our relationship with our daughter and her 5 children. It's easy to say, "Well, just love 'em" but sometimes they aren't lovable! That's when we bite our tongues. It might be a generational thing because we would never have gotten away with such behavior as children and we didn't let our own children act that way.

Congratulations Grandfather !

When my grandson was born, we were in a difficult situation. My husband was terminally Ill in hospice and my son was living with us helping me with his father. We both missed the first year of my grandson and his son's life. I sent gifts once a month and he Skyped frequently. They were able to visit when he was 13 months old after my husband had died. With my second grandchild, it is much different. I was able to visit and be there for the birth, a girl. I stayed in a hotel even though I was invited to stay at the house since I believe that they needed some time alone as a family. I cooked enough food in the week that I stayed for a month. I offer advice but only when asked. And I always say that I respect your choice as the mother to decide what is best. What I usually do is offer many choices with the advice and find Pinterest is a good resource. For example, teething was the last problem and I found 34 natural remedies for teething that I shared with her since I have more time for research. The only problem that they have with me is that I tend to go overboard with shopping. So I have promised my son after I bought a crib for the baby that his partner told me she wanted but didn't tell him that I would discuss big stuff with him.

Congrats! All of the comments listed and received are on point. I can only recommend to "pace yourself", given the boundless energy kids have while growing up, as we slow down a little. And here's a cute note I came across -- Grandparents' House Rules: Grandchildren are always welcome but Parents by Appointment Only. Endless laughs, hugs and kisses. Dessert comes first and sleepovers welcome. Remember that "what happens here, stays here".

Grandchildren keep you out of the rocking chair! Seeing the world again through their eyes is a wonder. Helping them to decide their likes and dislikes is interesting. Reading to them is very important. But the best thing for me is the goodies. Oh yeah, I am banned from the toy stores.... sigh!

Congratulations! We are expecting our 5th grandson very soon! As a former educator, I know everyone tries to make "rules" to help you be your best - teacher, mother, friend, mentor, and grandparent. But, you know what? Joy, love, and tender moments with little ones, makes all those rules go right out the window. My advise? Be there, listen to what your child(ren) are saying and what they aren't saying. Give them a night out (like no one ever did for you!) and keep your midnight oil burning, sleep when you can, and make laughter, hugs and trips to concerts, sport events, first day of school, and any other celebration a priority on your calendar! If anything can enhance your retirement, it is sharing private moments with your grandchildren. Don't make it a formula to follow, but an adventure to engage in for as long as you can! I agree with all the other comments, just adding that your heart grows to accommodate every new one God is gracious enough to give to your family.

Happy I came across this article right before we left to spend Thanksgiving with our new grandson. I'm sure I would have arrived with a suitcase full of advice and ready to unpack it. Instead I took this article to heart. Our son and daughter-in-law were who live a few states away were kind enough to invite us to their home for the holiday (and of course allowed us to cook ! ). We had a lovely time and I helped myself to using their good china and anything else I wanted to make a lovely dinner which I'm sure they haven't had time enjoy in the last month. But when it came to the baby, although I wanted to hold him 24/7 I held back not wanting to take over. Of course I got my fill though! While they were busy with him, I rearranged and organized the kitchen pantry and the nursery with baskets and did things around the house without asking. Only once when I saw my daughter-in-law struggling with a diaper did I offer advice. Before we left I heard my daughter-in-law tell my son " you're mother quietly made things seem to go so much easier". Last night we got a call, could we please come for Christmas! My bags are packed.

Diane! Great job! From your narrative, it seems you were the perfect, helpful behind the scenes, Grandparent. More people need to learn from this. Have a Merry Christmas!

We have three young grandchildren, and our kids live in three different cities.

We don't live near them, but we offer to come and stay/take care of the grandchildren so our adult children and spouses can get away as a couple (or go away with friends). Have been doing this for the past six years, and they love it.

Of course, we go for other visits as well, when the parents are there, too, but it's a nice gift for the parents to be able to get away and have some couple-time.

Jennifer thank you for making me feel good about how our first visit went, and Jan I love your idea and can't wait to get to that point. Sounds like a win/win for everyone!